WELCOME TO AMPERSAND
There is always an and…
Well, it’s December of 2024, with the world (still) on fire and the flames only getting hotter with each passing day, so I figured now was as good a time as any to (finally) start my newsletter. I don’t really have a plan here. Writers are supposed to have plans, I know, but all I’ve got on this blustery Monday as I write this is a desire to connect to connect a little more and communicate some wonderings (and wanderings) I hope some of you will find either comforting, inspiring, or simply entertaining.
For now, let’s start with the name. Ampersand. I’ve long been drawn to this symbol, and back in 2014—maybe 2015, what indeed is time—I tattooed it on my inner right wrist. Traditionally, we think of “and” when we see and ampersand, and that is certainly accurate. But back when I was thinking about a tattoo, I found a bit of a darker meaning. And then, I needed that darker meaning. I needed something a bit sad, a bit hopeless. My mother had died suddenly in 2012, and I was still reeling a bit from the loss. I don’t think the reeling every stopped—grief is circular, and all that—it has simply waxed and waned in intensity, in scope.
I had never before thought about how the ampersand was a broken infinity.
Eternity, halted. Nothing lasts forever, as the adage goes.
It was a deeper layer for the tiny symbol, almost cheery in its rounding swirls and the flick of its tail at the end.
But it was and end.
And I needed something that signified an end. A truth to my reality. But the beautiful thing about the ampersand is that is does mean “and.” It means “also” and “next” and “then.”
And, and, and.
So here we have a symbol that encompasses not only the ephemeral nature of all things, but also the promise of all things continuing.
We will mourn, and we will hope.
We will fear, and we will fight.
We will rage, and we will give and accept love.
In the nearly ten years since I got this tattoo, I’ve come back to this symbol and it’s dual meaning again and again. And right now, at the end of 2024, looking ahead on an uncertain and precarious 2025, I cling to it again.
There is always an and.
Asking for a friend…
So, thinking about all this hopeful and sometimes terrifying and, I do actually have one plan for this newsletter! One of my favorite tarot cards is the 6 of Pentacles, which essentially demolishes the capitalistic idea that we are all individuals pulling ourselves up and through all on our own. We are community. We need each other, and as creatives, that is certainly and intensely true. In that vein, as a writer and author (two different things, in my opinion), I love talking with readers and fellow writers about, well, writing and authoring. I love questions about craft and publishing, and I get a lot of them at events and in my DMs. To that end, I’d love to take a section of my newsletter every month and answer some questions along these topics that I hope will benefit not only the asker, but our entire creative community as well.
To do this, I’ve created an email address exclusively for this feature. Click here (ampersandahb at gmail dot com) to email me any questions you have about writing, authoring, publishing, or anything you might be wondering that relates to those three things. I will answer a few questions in each newsletter. If I have not gotten to yours, I will do my best to do in the next edition. I’m writing and have a family, so please bear with me and be patient on that front. I’m excited to answer all your inquiries, and might even pull in some guest author buddies from time to time either in the newsletter or on Instagram.
Please note: I will not answer these emails directly in gmail. You will receive an automated response that said I have received your email and will get to it in my newsletter ASAP. I will also not answer any questions that do not relate in some way to writing or publishing or the creative life. I realize this is up to me to determine, but this feature is an effort to connect us all together and share resources, so please be respectful of the parameters. I will also delete any messages that contain any abusive behavior.
In closing…
I mentioned tarot above, and if you know me or have read any of my books, you know I practice tarot regularly. I think I’ve included in every book since Ivy Aberdeen, and I love the insight it gives me on a daily basis. Because of that, I’d love to close every issue with a tarot card for my readers. (I guess I have more than one plan for this newsletter after all.) I believe tarot is meant to empower, comfort, motivate, and reveal, as well as be utilize in a way that ensures these thing for the reader, and anyone who seeks these qualities. As I write this section, I’ll take out a favorite tarot deck, and shuffle while asking what we all need to know or hear at that moment. A collective card for a collective creative community. I’ll tell you what deck I’m using, and give you a little commentary on the card, of course.
And so, without further ado…
As the first pulled card of this newsletter, I am THRILLED with the Ten of Pentacles. I used my absolute favorite deck, a queer and inclusive deck called Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess, who also has so many great resources about tarot and activism out there. Check them out here on IG.
Now, the Ten of Pentacles. In tarot, the Pentacles suit is all about the body and the material world including business, trade, money, and any material possessions. In each suit, the ten is usually a card of completion or the maximum expression of the suit. In Wands and Swords, that can be a little heavy. But in Cups and Pentacles, it’s a more joyful card, signifying achieved goals or domestic contentment. The Ten of Pentacles is about the abundance of life. All the work, all the ideas, all the toil and sharing and communicating for our physical world have culminated and resulted in a richness and a complexity and a beautiful celebration of what we do have. This card is a lovely reminder that we are part of something larger than just ourselves. We are family. We are community. We are social beings who need each other. And the seeds we plant therein will grow.
Some writerly things…
Okay, and herein lies the true end of this journey of a newsletter. *wipes brow* I am a writer and author after all, and I wanted to share with you some exciting things coming up!
My queer holiday romance, Make the Season Bright, is out in the world for all ready for some messy second chance romance with a side of holiday-themed dates and some music.
The first book in my next series, Dream On, Ramona Riley is available on NetGalley. I also have physical ARCs and plan to do a giveaway soon! I really love this book, and it’s a messy one. Probably some of the messiest characters I’ve written, but I think that’s what makes me love it so much. I love walking along with a disaster human on their journey to giving and receiving love, to realizing they are worth it.
Lastly, as this is going out, an auction to support trans lives and rights is going on in the book community! I’m giving away a bundle of Bright Falls books + Make the Season Bright, as well as an ARC of Dream On, Ramona Riley. Click here to see the auction and ALL the amazing items up for auction for this great cause. It runs through December 5th.
Until next time, my dears, stay safe, stay loved, stay well-read, and stay mad.
xoxo,
Ashley